One Semester of Spanish Love Song

Gretchen IMed this to me. It's pretty funny, especially if you're like me and don't remember much of your language classes.

I figured out why people don't want to get older. Life gets more repetitive. When you're young, life seems to have more variety. Now that I'm older ... work, home, out, home, work, home, out, home ... rinse and repeat.

I was thinking the other day about friendships. How does a friendship start? How does a friendship materialize into something more long lasting than just a "hey, how's it going?" in passing type of relationship? How do you get to the point where someone is your best friend or one of your best friends?

Here is my interpretation of the process ... based on my meeting people. You meet your first friend out of necessity. You're sitting there by yourself and that isn't very much fun. You look around and you see someone that is playing with a toy that you would probably like too. You walk over and share that toy. Voila, you've got yourself the beginning of a friendship ... at least as far as childhood goes.

How about when you're older? How does a friendship start then? Well, I know I met a few people in high school or middle school ... we'll go with middle school because that is when I met the majority of my current set of friends. So you're sitting there, in my case in 6th grade, and you're not doing a whole lot. Notice the trend? So you're sitting there and then someone happens to be sitting next to you. You start by sparking some random conversation about who knows what. That doesn't really matter that much because the whole idea of that initial conversation is to determine if you have similar interests. You start talking with them about video games or TV or whatever it is you have interest in and if they are responding to your conversation: bingo. So you chat for quite a while and then someone suggests that you hang out sometime (someone in the group, not some random third party that goes, "hey, you two should hang out" and then walks away). So you try the hanging out thing and it turns out that you guys or girls are able to have an enjoyable time. You do that a few times and bam, you've got yourself an actual friendship. From there, you meet their friends and being they have similar interests to that person, it is likely you will also have interests with them. Sure enough, you all become friends after a short while and then you have a group of friends.

That all sounds so simple right? Well, the problem is that doesn't always work out so smoothly. For one, now that we're getting older, when exactly do we meet these people? We aren't in school ... work, at least in my case, finds people staying the same age while I get older (we keep hiring 16 year olds and I keep aging). So ... where do you go from there? That's my current dilemma. It isn't that I mind the friends I have. That isn't it at all. However, getting new friends on top of the current set would make it more likely for you to have something to do more often.

What started all of this? Well, I was thinking about friendships the other day. Friendships that I have had for a while, friendships I've gained recently, and friendships I have lost. I began thinking about what exactly was involved in a friendship and how you determine when someone is a friend, when someone is pretending to be a friend, when someone is simply an acquaintance, and when someone is MORE than a friend. That last one is a whole post all its own and one I still don't really understand and probably never will. However, I thought about the whole friendship idea and that was my best analysis of friendship starters. They all had to start somewhere right?

Life is very complicated. Some people like to pretend that they are able to function on their own without anyone else but that simply isn't the case. I would go completely crazy if I just sat here every day and never went out anywhere. I would go crazy if I had no one to talk to because I had no friends. It just wouldn't be very healthy for the mind or body and I can't imagine anyone actually enjoys being without friends.

That reminds me of something else I was thinking about ... and don't ask me to explain my thought process there. In any case ... do you ever wonder what your friends think of you? I mean, obviously they don't hate you or they wouldn't hang out with you. That much is very clear. However, do they respect you? Do they find you an icon to make fun of when you're not around? Do they ever think about you when you're not there or are you a friend of the moment? I was, in a round about way, told yesterday what at least one person feels about me. That was actually an enlightening and appreciated experience. I was told by one of my friends, in a way, that they would rather inconvenience others than have me be uncomfortable in a situation. I questioned it, not because I didn't appreciate the gesture, but because I didn't see how my well-being was more important than several person's interests. It then came to light that they appreciated me as a friend and would like me to be around so rather than having me depart, they would try to make the situation more comfortable for me if that is the case. It then clicked, and I didn't say it then, that I really appreciated the person as well as the gesture they were offering me. It is good to have friends like that who are willing to do things for you, one way or another, just to keep your company.

Do I know how others feel about me? No. I do know, through drunk conversation (I was sober, the other person was not), that some people respect me ... or at least this particular person does (or did?). It is nice to hear that from time to time. It's nice to know you're appreciated or wanted around or missed or whatever the situation may be. I know that's a bit sappy or whatever but it's true.

With that said, I'll leave you with a thought. If you are around someone and you realize you appreciate them as a person and friend -- tell them. They may look at you cross-eyed or something because they didn't expect it but I'm confident they will appreciate the comment just as I know I do when I hear something like that from time to time.

I am not leaving yet ... I lied. I just thought of something else that I am guilty of and it is something difficult to handle. When you have a lot of friends, some that are not around all the time and others that are around frequently, it is easy to forget about the ones less seen. You don't necessarily forget about their existence but you don't consider them in your every day plans because you are not used to them being around. I've done it, I'm sure others have as well. It is a good idea, and I'll have to focus on this as well, to give them a call and make the effort to hang out. Having them call you all the time doesn't send a very good message -- and again I'm guilty as charged from time to time. It's challenging, I won't lie, but try to make the effort. Try to link your every day schedule with someone who is in the area for only short periods at a time. They will be happy you made the effort and you'll be happier keeping in touch with more of your friends.

OK, now I think I'm done. Those wondering what I'm doing in life, I'll give a short update. Most of you know that I'm single now. I may have posted about that before. Emily and I grew apart and it was time to move on (her quicker than I). I still work at Regal but I'm a first assistant. My boss left and we got someone that I worked with before. Things are going all right with only minor annoyances to worry about. Some people are leaving as I've complained about before but others are sticking around at least for now. I started hanging out with John (former co-worker) watching football on Sunday and Mondays. Good times. Jared and my business had our first customer yesterday. It went pretty well and we got our first check for it. We need to accumulate a few more jobs before we can open a bank account and get that going. I learned how to fly last week and can now travel much faster than I used to and the holidays are coming way too quickly again.

Anyway, I'm all done now. I'm not so sure anyone is actually reading this anyway but I'll post on Xanga letting people know that I am indeed posting on here again. We'll see how long it holds up but hopefully I'll be a bit more consistent. Writing can be fun.