Have you ever looked at your life and said, "is this really me?" When I was younger, I used to think that "maybe this is not really my life but a dream that is actually the opposite. Maybe I'm a female with blonde hair, I'm in my 60s and am dreaming about life on the 'other side' ..." Sounds strange, I know, but I had a creative mind as a child. I would obviously not believe such "tales" but it made me ponder life just the same.

How about watching television? I have come to think that watching television is not a very good idea. I watch a movie or a TV series and feel as though my life was actually the movie (after watching a trilogy or maybe several episodes of a series). It's another strange thing, I know. I remember being younger and going to see Aladdin in the theatre. I came out thinking about being that diamond in the rough. When I saw Santa Clause, I felt like I knew Santa myself -- like he was my father or that I was Santa. I think my mind puts me too much into the movie. This is why a scary movie really gets me ... I feel like I'm there. I don't know if others experience this as I do/did but I don't know. I watch something and when things get sad, I get sad. I know people do cry during movies but do they feel like it is their life? I just don't know if I'm alone in this.

I hate watching people struggle. The latest story involves two people having "problems" as I'll call it. I don't want to see people have issues with each other but at the same time it may not be warranted. I won't go into detail but I hope everything works out one way or another. Sometimes the best thing to do is walk away, give air, come back later or just "be friends" and that's all. It's not the easiest thing to do but I know it is also the truth and I hope they see it that way too.

I'm still procrastinating on these papers. I think I'm going to work on them this week ... I MUST get the one due on the 15th. The research on the other I hope to complete and I have to start reading my book for a book review I have to do. The semester is roaring to a close much faster than I expected. I can't wait for next semester where I don't have to do research, I just need to write about my "philosophy of teaching" and other trivial things. I can write from my mind much more than I can write from research. Strange? Maybe.

So Fred OftenCold suggested I move to Alaska to teach. Very interesting idea to say the least. I've often though of visiting Alaska but it never occurred to me that I could live there. My main concern is I'd be moving really far away (about as far away as someone can go in the United States). It's an idea to keep in the back of my mind though ... doesn't hurt to explore the "extreme" possibilities. I hesitate to use that word but I couldn't think of a better one. Part of me thinks it would be fun ... I have a year to decide what I'm doing yet so I'll just keep an open mind until then.

First ... I have to graduate college. Still fighting through that. I took a test on Friday and I STILL had no idea what was going on with the multiple choice on that guy's test. I stare at them and just do not have a clue where he gets his questions from. I looked over all my notes, I read most of the book that I needed to ... what does he want from me? I am hoping I got a C on the test but I really do not know if I did or not. A C is an improvement to say the least but I really want to fight for a B in the class. If all I have left is the final than that is going to be tough and I think that's all that remains. Fortunately, I'm virtually guaranteed 2 A's this semester so that will bolster my QPA (GPA Kutztown style) for the semester. I really want to do well though because schools don't want a "mediocre" teacher, they want an outstanding one.

With all that said ... there's always Regal :-\ Not my idea of a "dream job" but it would pay the bills. It has become my "backup" plan although I consider it more of a last resort. Don't get me wrong, I like the people I work with but I'd need to advance quite a bit to make it worth my while. Plus: the stress would be much higher than with a teaching job (in my opinion).

I work at 5:30p and am currently awaiting Jared's arrival so we can head up to the mall. My mother was trying to tell me how to dress today ... it was funny. I am comfortable in what I'm wearing and am not overly concerned with my attire. Anyway, I'm off. Have a good day.