You know, I've been thinking. I always wonder what exactly happened to my large group of friends. When I was in high school, I had tons of friends. Lots of people I was hanging out with at some point or another. It was amazing how large the group was and how diverse it was too. After high school, that diminished considerably -- some at first and then more and more until I am where I am today. I still have a decent size group of friends and I certainly appreciate every one of them but I have wondered what happened to the larger group that I had.

I would think about it and wonder what it is I did wrong that caused me to let all those people slip away. What could I have done differently to make sure I kept in touch with all of them. Then I think about something my mother said to me years ago when questioning about a friend from childhood that I lost touch with. I mentioned that, had I known she was as close as she was, I may have kept in touch better than I did. My mother said to me, "she knew how close she was, she could have just as easily kept in touch with you if she had wanted to."

Good point. It is something I can point out to several situations but it works out very well to this very situation. Sure, I could have put forth effort to keep the friendship together, but they could have too. This does not absolve me of my commitment to it at all but it shows that friendship is a two-way street. Whether you choose to let it slip away or try to hold onto it ... it is ultimately what the other person wants that helps keep it together or fall apart.

I've given advice to people under many circumstances -- sometimes even about friendships. I've given advice, which is probably pretty sound though many times I'm not really speaking from experience, just from what I think makes sense. However, taking this particular situation, I can apply it to my life as easily as his. If they wanted to stay friends with me, they could have talked to me too and tried to hang out with me too. Maybe it would have motivated me to do the same in return or maybe I would have been the one that just did not want it to follow through.

Thinking back, I have a lot of fond memories of friends past and present. I would not trade those memories for anything. Sometimes, though, people grow apart and you need to realize that it is time to let go. Maybe you do that subconsciously and that is why you lose touch with someone. I really don't know. If you don't feel motivated to keep in touch with the person -- maybe they aren't worth it to you. If you really care about someone as your friend (or whatever status they may have in your life), you'll put forth the effort and they'll do the same if they feel the same way. Makes sense right? I can think of this stuff but never apply it to myself unless I sit and think about it for a while. It makes so much sense to me now yet I still sit and think, "what happened?"

Case in point -- I have been in Florida for a little over a month now. I could have easily lost touch with certain people by now but the effort is still functioning on both ends to keep in contact one way or another. I got unlimited texting starting today and that is another avenue with which I can keep in touch. I am pleased with the new living situation though I haven't really met too many friends here. I met someone and then they moved to Tennessee so that puts me squarely at square one. No, I don't mean "met someone" as in a girl ... just someone to hang out with. In any case, I did hang out with two managers on one occasion or another. I am not sure how I feel about those situations just yet as I do have to work with them and may be their superior down the road causing a conflict of interest. In any case, I have been down here and still communicate with most of my friends from home so that is good to know that the friendship base is more solid than the one I had in high school.

Come to think of it -- maybe what I thought was a friend was actually an acquaintance that I hung out with through other friends. Certainly an avenue to think about. Maybe for another time. I must sleep now. I have no water in my apartment so I have to bother a co-manager tomorrow to use her shower. No, not like that. She lives in another building in my complex and they have water whereas I do not. Figures. In any case, I'll make an attempt to post more since Gretchen is dissatisfied with my current posting frequency.