I don't know why it took me this long but I cannot watch sad movies anymore. Not "sad" persay but troubling. I watch them and as they progress, I become stressed out because in my mind, it is actually happening. Craziness, I know. I watched Sideways tonight and I became more and more stressed as the situation worsened with one of the main characters. Fortunately there was a happy ending without any other turmoil or I don't know what would have happened there. Phew.

I'm afraid to do my lesson plans. I'm afraid my ideas won't be any good. I'm afraid I won't be able to get them done. It's just a bad situation all over. What am I to do? Yes, I know I have to write them. The teacher expects them this week. Here's the thing though ... I'm not prepared to write them properly. I think I'm going to work on them at work tomorrow unless Megan, Tiff, or Steve need me. I just need a quiet place to focus on them and that quiet place is only available at work. Sad? Yes. At home I have too many distractions. Too many that I cannot even count them. I thought maybe since Emily is on vacation I'd have less to do so I could do them (no, I'm not trying to blame her for my procrastination, just giving myself excuses to work on them). However, I have friends I haven't seen in a while and such. Maybe I should cut down on work these last couple of weeks. I know my money situation will begin to hurt a lot but it may be for the best. I really don't want to do it but what am I to do? I need to get focused. I need to buckle down. I need to write these things and get psyched/prepared for student teaching. I'm so nervous though. Emily said she'd help me with this preparation and teaching thing. I thank her for that.

So fall is fastly approaching. It should be exciting with Gretchen and Jason at Kutztown. Granted, I'm only there once a week but I could get together with Gretchen and have a dinner type thing or something just to chill. I dunno. This is all preliminary but it should be interesting. I'm going to have more free time, which I will love. I mean, it'll mean a lot of preparation time but I should be able to do this, right? I hope so. It would be so nice if student teaching paid something. It is my understanding that it does not and I don't know how I would balance student teaching (which is a job in itself) with working more than one day a week. I'm working one, that is all I think I will be able to handle. All work and no play makes Chuck a dull boy. True story.

So I hear there are problems again. Problems with various parties. Sad stories. I wish I knew what to say. I wish I knew how to handle things. I'm just not good at that. Once upon a time I was but not anymore. I have too much stress to be able to clearly look at things from a third party perspective. I feel involved, which makes any advice I can offer contaminated. Bleh to that. I just hope things heal up shortly. This is what I wish.

Emily is down in Maryland now. Pretty far if you ask me. I miss her :-(

Well, I suppose that's it for me now. I'll catch YOU later.