There are times when I feel very alone. There are other times when I feel like I'm never alone. I don't really know which to truly believe anymore. I see my friends and I know they care about me, yet I see no girl interested in me. To girls, I'm just another person. A funny person maybe but just another person. When will that change? When will a girl look at me and go, "gee, he's dateable." It's happened before but not too often. The way it works with me is they meet me, they have a crush on me, they get to know me, they think I'm cool but nothing more. Do I hate it? Sometimes.

I enjoy being friends with people but there is that hole that has been void for too long. A hole that a friend cannot fill because it is reserved for a special thing. A special thing I have not experienced much of. Love ... heck, even liking someone who likes you back is a good thing.

I'm not looking for sympathy ... these are just thoughts floating around in my head. Thoughts that need to be laid out so I don't have to think about it anymore. If only it were that easy ... but at least I can have temporary relief since I'm telling everyone and no one at the same time. You'll read this at your leisure and I'm typing it at mine. No real connection ... no real communication between us. I write, you read. In any case, it's just frustrating to have it happen time and again. Maybe my new plan should be to like a girl as fast as possible and proceed to ask them out. This prevents the "just friends" aura from sinking in and gives me a chance. It'll never work and I'm not one to do that anyway. Ah well.

Do people read this? I suppose they do. I get comments from time to time but no where near as many as some other blogs. That's alright ... I know people read, I'm just too talkative on others blogs so I always comment. Again with the, "ah well."

Classes start tomorrow. It's sure to be a swell time. I have one class at 9am. They couldn't organize it better because that would have made sense.

I love my friends. Others have said it and I may even have said it but I'll say it again. Love to my friends. They worry about me even when I don't want it. Sometimes it's when we don't want it that we need it the most.

I like certain people. I won't go into detail other than to say this "like" is in the form of crushes. Some continual, some more fresh to the mind. In one case, we've tried ... twice ... and it never worked. This was both our faults and I still like her. Whether she also does or not I do not know but I continue to wait. Do I wait because I have no where else to go or because I have faith that it will work in the end? I'd say the latter ...

All these jumbled thoughts. Probably just going to worry all of you with all of this. There is no need to worry about me ... or maybe there is. In either case, things will continue as they were. I continue looking from afar ... whatever that means.

Maybe I shouldn't even post this. People know I'm frustrated but this may give the wrong idea. It's nothing more than pent up frustration being released on a blog. Nothing more.

In any case, I had better go wander elsewhere. To class in the morning. Man am I tired.