I want to make a difference during my lifetime. I was taking a shower and realized this is my reason for wanting to be a teacher. As a teacher, I feel I can make that difference and be somebody important to students. I hope to be one of those teachers that makes a student go, "gee, a history teacher would be a good profession" or even, "I like history a lot, maybe I'll major in it!" Heck, I'd settle for, "phew, I made it through the semester thanks to Mr. M." I just want to be that somebody that doesn't hinder their interest in history. I want them to thrive under my guidance. My students should leave my classroom rejuvenated and goal oriented. At least that's the hope ...

Have you ever wanted something but you couldn't have it? It stinks, especially when there is nothing wrong with having it except that it just isn't proper under current circumstances. I dunno. I can't explain it any further ... I just wish life were more fair.

Going to receive my test back that I screwed up one of the essays on. I hope I don't get accosted for my misinformation. I would expect that people would mess up Alexander I with Alexander II from time to time and if not ... then I just suck. I'll find out I guess.

Thanksgiving is coming. You know what that means ... Christmas music in my car for a whole month! Oh, not to mention Turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, and goodness. I have off on Thanksgiving this year ... very unusual but apparently I'm working Christmas Day, which is the reasoning behind that. I'm thinking I'd prefer to work Thanksgiving rather than Christmas but what can ya do? Jeff has made up his mind and it's sticking that way. Of course our family's thanksgiving dinner is on Saturday, which I cannot attend because I work until 6 and my family will be eating around 4. I'll still be able to eat with my parents and my one aunt who is coming to join us. Most of my family lives in NJ (from the one side) so we usually eat in NJ on Saturdays but alas ... work beckons.

Jeff wrote on the board that I need my review. I'm excited ... it might get done before 2005. Wow, I can't believe 2005 is right around the corner. What happened to the 80s and 90s? Where'd half the 00's go? It's going quickly ... really quite hard to believe. Seems like only yesterday I was sitting and dreading my next day of high school stress. Now I sit here and dread about my next day of college stress. Neverending cycle ... soon I'll be sitting here and thinking about my teaching stress (notice how I did not say I would be dreading it ... proper word choice is key).

Gretchen made a good point today ... I've never made a lesson plan before so I really have no idea how to be a teacher at this point. I guess I'll have to get cracking :-[

So ... everyone like the new song? No? Well it's staying for a while either way because I had to have someone upload it for me (apparently most companies don't let you upload files and then use them as a host rather than a website developing tool).

Ever wonder what life would be like without your existence? I watched Santa Clause today, which reflected me back to It's A Wonderful Life. In the movie, Peter Bailey gets to see life without his existence. Would I effect the world in such a way? I doubt it but would people be different without me? It's really hard to tell since we cannot all experience this "without you" experience. It's an interesting thought though. Who out there would really make a difference? Is it limited to the leaders of this country? How about movie actors? Can a "common person" make a difference that would alter things a bit if they did not exist? I suspect that a common person can make a difference to someone. This goes back to my opening paragraph ... I don't want to be just a memory. I want to be a somebody that people would notice if I'm missing ... even if I never existed. Will that happen? I do not know. I know people have a certain love for me and I appreciate their caring about me but having people who enjoy your company doesn't mean they wouldn't be the same without my existence. Like I said, we'll never know for sure if we made a true difference. Thomas Edison probably didn't think about how big his light bulb idea was. Alexander Gramm Bell probably didn't think about a telephone being in every home and in every pocket in America. George Washington crossed the Delaware not even knowing if he'd win the battle let alone the war. Will I cross the Delaware and succeed? Will I do something to influence others? Maybe not on a grand scale but I intend to try to make that difference to someone out there. At least I hope I do.

Alright, the eyes are shutting. It's time. Good night.