Something's wrong. I don't know what it is though. Tiff pointed it out today ... I seem more glum than usual. It may be school but it shouldn't sadden me because the worst that can happen is I fail. No permanent harm will come to me ... there is no reason for me to be this bad about it.

I just don't know what else it could be. Life just throws tough semesters at you and you have to take it grinning. I'm having difficulty doing that this semester.

I have thought about it and decided that a "friendship marriage" may be the best bet for me. I decided that I must suck at being anything but a friend to people so I'll just get married to a friend and then it'll be like we're roommates only we're married and have a family eventually. Eh, I shouldn't think like that. Love is a good thing and I'll just have to wait patiently for it.

I have figured out though that girls like me more when I don't like them. I mean like as in interested in. Now this isn't to say that every girl I have not been interested in likes me, but it seems more likely than girls I like liking me back. I blame this on my change in persona when I like someone. I act differently and I think people notice it and don't like the difference. I wish I could control this but I can't ... well, not yet anyway. I'll work on it.

I hate politics. I really do. It can take two normally happy people and turn them into mortal enemies because they have differing views on things. Do these views affect my life directly? Not even so much if you look at it closely. As outside views suggest, the US has two of the most centrist parties in the world. No matter which party takes office, our country will go in generally the same direction. Now I know I want Bush in office. However, I don't think the country will cease to exist if Kerry wins. I personally don't see why people think life is so bad right now that if Bush wins again the world will end. I personally like what he's doing. However, if Kerry wins and changes things and those start to fail, I still won't think the world is ending. I may disagree with what he is doing while others continue to think he's doing a good job, but overall not a lot will change. That goes back to the main thought ... I hate politics. It's just frustrating to listen to people disagree for no reason. I'm guilty of doing it too, don't get me wrong. I disagree on many things and will occasionally speak on it but ... what does it even matter really? Is Bush going to bring about the second apocolypse if he wins again? No. Will Kerry if he wins? No. We're going in a certain direction and we'll be continuing in that direction (for the most part) no matter who wins. It just makes me mad that we even have to argue over this like we're supposed to or something. Why can't everyone just have the same views ... that would solve a million and a half problems. OK, now I sound like a hippy ... moving on.

Today was a day of ultimate stress ... at least at work. Jeff calls me and is like, "you work a double on Saturday now" I'm like, "uh ... umm ... nope, that's not good" He changed the schedule on me. So of course, I'm peeing my pants (I get my suit drycleaned tomorrow, don't worry) and was trying to figure out what to do. Lifesaver Rich agreed to switch with me so that solves that problem. If Jeff EVER changes the schedule again on me like that, I may end his life and take over as GM (this is not an actual death threat, no police action is necessary). So ... yeah, all is working out in the end. I also have off Sunday now so I can get down to Philly with the people going to the Haunted House thing if they are all available to do so. This has clear benefits and I hope it'll work out better. If not ... time for me to do schoolwork despite my resistance at doing so.

So many things going through my mind as you can see. Some I probably don't want people to actually read but I might as well get them out there. I am not depressed, just stressed. Politics will not end the world, I'm convinced. I think happiness lies in the opposite sex, but the problem is finding someone I'm interested in and that is interested back (the BIG problem). Life goes on. So does my typing. So does the time I should have gone to bed. It made a nice wooshing sound as it passed an hour ago. Night!

P.S. Sorry, Tiff. You suggested I blog and I initially resisted but then changed my mind so here it is. You'll get to read it eventually though :-) ... night everyone.