http://geektyrant.com/news/2011/5/23/theres-a-1-billion-star-trek-theme-part-resort-being-built.html
Really? They are building a Star Trek them park but it is in Jordan? What kind of garbage is that? Sigh. I guess I better start saving up money. It won't open until 2014 anyway but still ... I can't even comprehend why they would pick Jordan.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Every time I think about blogging, I realize that I only have one reader right now. Maybe I am wrong but I am pretty sure Tracy is the only reader and I already tell her about my day when I get home -- not sure reading about it would be as exciting if it was already told.
If you read this, go ahead and leave a comment. Maybe if I knew I had other readers I would be more motivated. I'm glad Tracy reads it but, like I said, I feel like this would be a bore for just her to read what I likely already shared.
If you read this, go ahead and leave a comment. Maybe if I knew I had other readers I would be more motivated. I'm glad Tracy reads it but, like I said, I feel like this would be a bore for just her to read what I likely already shared.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
It's so strange to see that Lisa Edelstein will not be on House next season. Not really because I did not see it coming but because I was thinking that a good season 8 plot would be House working with (read: dealing with) a new Dean of Medicine. I only had this thought when they mentioned she had not signed on yet but I guess that will indeed be something they have to work with now (unless they choose to just have her be Dean but mysteriously missing suddenly).
Today was one of those days where I just could not get enough sleep. It was pretty frustrating to be sure. It's almost seven and I just want to lie back down and sleep until morning ... except I am really hungry now.
Why am I so tired? Well, I watched Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides last night. The movie was pretty good aside from the first fifteen or so minutes of character introduction. I felt like they just wanted to get to the quest for the Fountain of Youth and so they were like, "here's this character, this character, this character, ok go." Once the quest began, it was overall pretty good. Not "Curse of the Black Pearl" good but entertaining and fun.
I need to eat. Time to jump on the bed until Tracy wakes up so I can find out if she wants some :)
Today was one of those days where I just could not get enough sleep. It was pretty frustrating to be sure. It's almost seven and I just want to lie back down and sleep until morning ... except I am really hungry now.
Why am I so tired? Well, I watched Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides last night. The movie was pretty good aside from the first fifteen or so minutes of character introduction. I felt like they just wanted to get to the quest for the Fountain of Youth and so they were like, "here's this character, this character, this character, ok go." Once the quest began, it was overall pretty good. Not "Curse of the Black Pearl" good but entertaining and fun.
I need to eat. Time to jump on the bed until Tracy wakes up so I can find out if she wants some :)
Saturday, May 14, 2011
http://starfleetacademystore.com/
:D I want everything hehehe.
Edit: More specifically ... http://starfleetacademystore.com/products/101941-delta-shield-tie-bar
:D I want everything hehehe.
Edit: More specifically ... http://starfleetacademystore.com/products/101941-delta-shield-tie-bar
Sunday, May 08, 2011
Tracy and I got a free DVD of Away We Go from the GM conference so we decided to watch it the other day. While I did enjoy the film and it was mildly funny, I have to say that whoever wrote the dialogue tried too hard to put foul language in. I found myself going "really?" at points when they would randomly put "f'ing" this when it really did not feel like it fit. In other words, it was forced. I believe that some language can give a genuine feel to a film since much of the world does curse, but, like I said, some parts I found myself wincing wondering why they chose to curse that many times in the scene when it was not a tense scene or one that called for emphatic language. Again, overall a good movie but toning it down a bit would have benefited it in this case.
Tracy and I have been doing some (what we would call) serious bike riding recently. We decided a week or two ago to ride our bikes at 2 am over to Rave (a five mile ride) and back. We stopped at the theater to rest and then rode back. Since then, we have taken the ride three or so times more and are now able to do it without stopping unless we ride two days in a row (like today). Today our legs were burning on the way there so we stopped and had a drink. Speaking of drinks, today was the first day we had drinks for the ride. I rode a nice flowery backpack with drinks in it for us. Surprisingly, the water was still cool when we got to Rave (five miles took us 35 minutes today). In any case, I was surprised. The ride was good but my goodness my legs hurt afterwards. Some day maybe they won't hurt and we will need to push ourselves further to get the exercise ride we are looking for. For now - that ride is a challenge every day.
My boss did a surprise visit to the theater today. Always want things running perfectly when he is there ... it was busy but we managed well and the visit was good. I cannot go into detail on here but good visits are good. Still hoping to move on soonish. He said there will be at least one opening over the summer since there is a new theater that will be getting a GM and there will be some movement as a result of that opening so ... if it is somewhere I am looking for and if they decide I am the best candidate then I can get Tracy to school for the spring at least.
I think I should be done for now. It's almost 3 am and I have to work tomorrow (last day before a day off). Farewell for now. Until I write again.
P.S. Sorry about not doing the Bucket List further. I guess I am just not the Bucket List type of person? OK, bye.
Tracy and I have been doing some (what we would call) serious bike riding recently. We decided a week or two ago to ride our bikes at 2 am over to Rave (a five mile ride) and back. We stopped at the theater to rest and then rode back. Since then, we have taken the ride three or so times more and are now able to do it without stopping unless we ride two days in a row (like today). Today our legs were burning on the way there so we stopped and had a drink. Speaking of drinks, today was the first day we had drinks for the ride. I rode a nice flowery backpack with drinks in it for us. Surprisingly, the water was still cool when we got to Rave (five miles took us 35 minutes today). In any case, I was surprised. The ride was good but my goodness my legs hurt afterwards. Some day maybe they won't hurt and we will need to push ourselves further to get the exercise ride we are looking for. For now - that ride is a challenge every day.
My boss did a surprise visit to the theater today. Always want things running perfectly when he is there ... it was busy but we managed well and the visit was good. I cannot go into detail on here but good visits are good. Still hoping to move on soonish. He said there will be at least one opening over the summer since there is a new theater that will be getting a GM and there will be some movement as a result of that opening so ... if it is somewhere I am looking for and if they decide I am the best candidate then I can get Tracy to school for the spring at least.
I think I should be done for now. It's almost 3 am and I have to work tomorrow (last day before a day off). Farewell for now. Until I write again.
P.S. Sorry about not doing the Bucket List further. I guess I am just not the Bucket List type of person? OK, bye.
Friday, May 06, 2011
http://www.amazon.com/Superman-Picture-Anthology-1978-2006-Blu-ray/dp/B004UQPM4E/ref=wl_it_dp_o?ie=UTF8&coliid=I2GOFEVVWMXV51&colid=1R1XLJNJP9JPP
I may have drooled a little bit. I am such a nerd. That plus season 10 of Smallville coming out in August - sigh.
I may have drooled a little bit. I am such a nerd. That plus season 10 of Smallville coming out in August - sigh.
Wednesday, May 04, 2011
Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.
I always have things to write about when I am not by a computer and then when I am by a computer I have nothing to write about. Sigh.
We went Mother's Day shopping today. By "went" I mean online, of course. Both of our parents are a bit far away to be shopping locally. Hopefully they like their gifts. If not ... not much we can do about it I guess.
Today was a hectic (self-imposed) day at work. Started out by bowling. That part was fun (obviously) but it squished the rest of the day quite a bit. Got most of it done except for getting the show schedule entered but at least it is flowing nicely. Bowling was fun - I actually won a game, which I did not expect (the one GM has a much better style throw). In any case, it was good to meet some other managers from other theaters as well.
It poured today. Pretty heavily. While I was driving. Yeah, it was fun. You have got to love when your windshield wipers cannot keep up with the water on your windshield. As usual, it went fine in the end.
Just realized it is time to feed my bird. This will have to do for now I suppose. Tracy will not be pleased but her bird is being stubborn and craning for food instead of hopping into her hand. Wee?
I always have things to write about when I am not by a computer and then when I am by a computer I have nothing to write about. Sigh.
We went Mother's Day shopping today. By "went" I mean online, of course. Both of our parents are a bit far away to be shopping locally. Hopefully they like their gifts. If not ... not much we can do about it I guess.
Today was a hectic (self-imposed) day at work. Started out by bowling. That part was fun (obviously) but it squished the rest of the day quite a bit. Got most of it done except for getting the show schedule entered but at least it is flowing nicely. Bowling was fun - I actually won a game, which I did not expect (the one GM has a much better style throw). In any case, it was good to meet some other managers from other theaters as well.
It poured today. Pretty heavily. While I was driving. Yeah, it was fun. You have got to love when your windshield wipers cannot keep up with the water on your windshield. As usual, it went fine in the end.
Just realized it is time to feed my bird. This will have to do for now I suppose. Tracy will not be pleased but her bird is being stubborn and craning for food instead of hopping into her hand. Wee?
Monday, April 25, 2011
Hi everyone! It is I. I have a blog to write and here I am writing it.
Tracy and I started letting our doves out today (well, we have done it before but now they are hand feeding and getting more comfortable with us). In any case, Jadzia flew out, flew around, hung out, and then went back in her cage on her own (like she did before she was comfortable with us). She seems a lot more interested in floating around the room then Jhemel does. I am thinking when they get back together they will both explore together but who really knows? Jhemel did explore more than the last time we witnessed it. She walked around at least.
Tracy started hand feeding the birds when I was at the GM conference. The first day involved thrashing around the cage until they realized there was food in it for them. The second day was already so much better. They seem to adjust quickly, which is nice.
I am pretty distracted tonight thinking about a bunch of different things. My boss sent me an e-mail that was less than delightful so I have some work to do at work. Nothing I can't handle though - just time to whip some people into shape :)
I went to a GM conference this past week in Austin, TX. It was not so bad really. I got to meet some good people and get refocused going into the summer. All good news. I missed Tracy pretty terribly though :( I wish I could have smuggled her along. It was a nice area but my allergies destroyed me. We did have two days outdoors that were pretty interesting. On Tuesday we did a ropes course that was quite challenging. My group had to climb a telephone pole and then walk across a wooden cat walk with gaps in it. Pretty intense. We also did rock climbing and a zip cord. It was pretty fun but really tough.
Having difficulty focusing so I will end it here for now. Farewell!
Tracy and I started letting our doves out today (well, we have done it before but now they are hand feeding and getting more comfortable with us). In any case, Jadzia flew out, flew around, hung out, and then went back in her cage on her own (like she did before she was comfortable with us). She seems a lot more interested in floating around the room then Jhemel does. I am thinking when they get back together they will both explore together but who really knows? Jhemel did explore more than the last time we witnessed it. She walked around at least.
Tracy started hand feeding the birds when I was at the GM conference. The first day involved thrashing around the cage until they realized there was food in it for them. The second day was already so much better. They seem to adjust quickly, which is nice.
I am pretty distracted tonight thinking about a bunch of different things. My boss sent me an e-mail that was less than delightful so I have some work to do at work. Nothing I can't handle though - just time to whip some people into shape :)
I went to a GM conference this past week in Austin, TX. It was not so bad really. I got to meet some good people and get refocused going into the summer. All good news. I missed Tracy pretty terribly though :( I wish I could have smuggled her along. It was a nice area but my allergies destroyed me. We did have two days outdoors that were pretty interesting. On Tuesday we did a ropes course that was quite challenging. My group had to climb a telephone pole and then walk across a wooden cat walk with gaps in it. Pretty intense. We also did rock climbing and a zip cord. It was pretty fun but really tough.
Having difficulty focusing so I will end it here for now. Farewell!
Monday, April 04, 2011
Hi everyone. First real blog in a long time. I'll cut right to the chase now.
I have been thinking about choices in life. Choices similar to what you would find in a "Choose Your Own Adventure" book. If you choose differently, you wind up with an entirely different result. I have been reflecting on the ones I made that definitely would have changed things. For instance, what if I had chosen to go away to school instead of commuting from home? Would I still have the same friends from high school or would we have grown apart as distance did? Not likely since I am away from home now. What job would I have now? That one is widely open to try to guess. If I had gone away to college, I would not have become a manager at Hoyts. If I hadn't become a manager at Hoyts, I wouldn't have likely stayed there for 10 years and made managing a career. I wouldn't have met Tracy. I wouldn't have gotten married to her. What if I had become a manager but actually tried really hard at the teaching thing instead of expecting it to be easy like I felt school was? I'd have a teaching job, would not have left home, would not have met the people I have met now, and same thing with Tracy.
Changing subjects because I do that midstream often - the chance of Tracy and I meeting in our lives was actually very very low. I suppose the same can go for any one person meeting any other one person but I can highlight the choices I made leading to our meeting very distinctly. She only lived in Niceville (near Destin) for a total of two years. That was her plan all along. I was only in Destin for one year. That does not even account for her coming to Destin and us being able to meet. The chances were minuscule and yet we did it. What is even more interesting is that I need her and she needs me. We do not always realize that, especially when we get upset, but it is definitely true.
I say dumb things sometimes (read: often). I say things before I really think about what they could be taken as or without thinking what others feelings may be on the subject. One such thing is regarding Bucket Lists. I think they can be a neat idea but my thought on what a bucket list should be differs from what other people think a bucket list should be. Should I have expressed that? Probably not. I am not even sure if I upset Tracy when I expressed it, but that isn't the point. I do it a lot. I say things, then realize that it sounded terrible to say, and once you say it you will never get it back.
I don't know why I keep thinking that I want to be an actor. First of all, it is a very very very hard profession to get into (at least on a professional "I make stupid amounts of money" level). Making movies would be so much fun. You get to pretend that you are someone else and then thousands of people get to watch your work. Having that many critics sounds exciting. Obviously, if I actually became an actor I'd be a failure not because I am a failure but because I cannot actually act. It is still fun to think about for me, though.
Back to bucket lists. I told Tracy the other day what I thought a bucket list should be (for me personally - not necessarily for anyone else). I felt that a bucket list should be filled with something that you have to really really work to do. For instance, I think running 10 miles would be a good bucket list item. I think learning to fly a plane is a good bucket list item. I think writing a novel is another one. I personally do not think something I can do on a whim should be able to make my bucket list. I am not going to list for instances for this side because, like I said, I have no filter and would offend someone. It's just my opinion just as everything I write is.
I feel like I should write a bucket list now that I have talked about them. I hadn't really felt like writing one until now. I should probably put some thought into it before writing it. Maybe that will be my next blog or two or ten. I actually included items that would make my bucket list in my comment on bucket lists so those are my first two items.
1. Run ten miles without stopping.
2. Learn to fly a plane.
OK, it has started. I will try to include two items every time I post, regardless on if I have other things to say or not.
I feel like it is time for us to leave Alabama, but there are no job openings for me to go anywhere else right now. I want to get Tracy into school. I feel terrible that we are still here because I am hurting her future because of my selfishness. I want to get promoted so I can support us more comfortably and pay for her schooling. I did not feel it unrealistic for me to leave by now but here I am - still here. We will leave eventually, but I want it to be soon so I can get Tracy going and I can get going at a busy theater for the summer. Every day there is not a job posting, I feel like I am letting her down.
The end.
I have been thinking about choices in life. Choices similar to what you would find in a "Choose Your Own Adventure" book. If you choose differently, you wind up with an entirely different result. I have been reflecting on the ones I made that definitely would have changed things. For instance, what if I had chosen to go away to school instead of commuting from home? Would I still have the same friends from high school or would we have grown apart as distance did? Not likely since I am away from home now. What job would I have now? That one is widely open to try to guess. If I had gone away to college, I would not have become a manager at Hoyts. If I hadn't become a manager at Hoyts, I wouldn't have likely stayed there for 10 years and made managing a career. I wouldn't have met Tracy. I wouldn't have gotten married to her. What if I had become a manager but actually tried really hard at the teaching thing instead of expecting it to be easy like I felt school was? I'd have a teaching job, would not have left home, would not have met the people I have met now, and same thing with Tracy.
Changing subjects because I do that midstream often - the chance of Tracy and I meeting in our lives was actually very very low. I suppose the same can go for any one person meeting any other one person but I can highlight the choices I made leading to our meeting very distinctly. She only lived in Niceville (near Destin) for a total of two years. That was her plan all along. I was only in Destin for one year. That does not even account for her coming to Destin and us being able to meet. The chances were minuscule and yet we did it. What is even more interesting is that I need her and she needs me. We do not always realize that, especially when we get upset, but it is definitely true.
I say dumb things sometimes (read: often). I say things before I really think about what they could be taken as or without thinking what others feelings may be on the subject. One such thing is regarding Bucket Lists. I think they can be a neat idea but my thought on what a bucket list should be differs from what other people think a bucket list should be. Should I have expressed that? Probably not. I am not even sure if I upset Tracy when I expressed it, but that isn't the point. I do it a lot. I say things, then realize that it sounded terrible to say, and once you say it you will never get it back.
I don't know why I keep thinking that I want to be an actor. First of all, it is a very very very hard profession to get into (at least on a professional "I make stupid amounts of money" level). Making movies would be so much fun. You get to pretend that you are someone else and then thousands of people get to watch your work. Having that many critics sounds exciting. Obviously, if I actually became an actor I'd be a failure not because I am a failure but because I cannot actually act. It is still fun to think about for me, though.
Back to bucket lists. I told Tracy the other day what I thought a bucket list should be (for me personally - not necessarily for anyone else). I felt that a bucket list should be filled with something that you have to really really work to do. For instance, I think running 10 miles would be a good bucket list item. I think learning to fly a plane is a good bucket list item. I think writing a novel is another one. I personally do not think something I can do on a whim should be able to make my bucket list. I am not going to list for instances for this side because, like I said, I have no filter and would offend someone. It's just my opinion just as everything I write is.
I feel like I should write a bucket list now that I have talked about them. I hadn't really felt like writing one until now. I should probably put some thought into it before writing it. Maybe that will be my next blog or two or ten. I actually included items that would make my bucket list in my comment on bucket lists so those are my first two items.
1. Run ten miles without stopping.
2. Learn to fly a plane.
OK, it has started. I will try to include two items every time I post, regardless on if I have other things to say or not.
I feel like it is time for us to leave Alabama, but there are no job openings for me to go anywhere else right now. I want to get Tracy into school. I feel terrible that we are still here because I am hurting her future because of my selfishness. I want to get promoted so I can support us more comfortably and pay for her schooling. I did not feel it unrealistic for me to leave by now but here I am - still here. We will leave eventually, but I want it to be soon so I can get Tracy going and I can get going at a busy theater for the summer. Every day there is not a job posting, I feel like I am letting her down.
The end.
Sunday, April 03, 2011
I will be posting on this site again shortly. Tracy and I have separate blogs now since I do not blog a lot. However, some people probably want to keep up with what is going on in more detail then the snapshots that Facebook offers. With that said, said blog will not be written tonight since my head is killing me (either dehydration or sinuses - it is hard to tell). Everything is well and good though otherwise.
See you soon!
See you soon!
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Thursday, April 15, 2010
July 6, in the morning
My angel, my all, my very self - Only a few words today and at that with pencil (with yours) - Not till tomorrow will my lodgings be definitely determined upon - what a useless waste of time - Why this deep sorrow when necessity speaks - can our love endure except through sacrifices, through not demanding everything from one another; can you change the fact that you are not wholly mine, I not wholly thine - Oh God, look out into the beauties of nature and comfort your heart with that which must be - Love demands everything and that very justly - thus it is to me with you, and you with me. But you forget so easily that I must live for me and for you; if we were wholly united you would feel the pain of it as little as I - My journey was a fearful one: I did not reach here until 4 o'clock yesterday morning. Lacking horses the postcoach chose another route, but what an awful one; at the stage before the last I was warned not to travel at night; I was made fearful of the forest, but that only made me the more eager - and I was wrong. The coach must needs break down on the wretched road, a bottomless mud road. Without such postilions as I had with me I should have remained stuck in the road. Esterhazy, traveling the usual road here, had the same fate with eight horses that I had with four - yet I got some pleasure out of it, as I always do when I successfully overcome difficulties - Now a quick change to things internal from things external. We shall surely see each other soon; moreover, today I cannot share with you the thoughts I have had during these last few days touching my own life - If our hearts were always close together, I would have none of these. My heart is full of so many things to say to you - ah - there are moments when I feel that speech amounts to nothing at all - Cheer up - remain my true, my only treasure, my all as I am yours. The gods must send us the rest, what for us must and shall be-
Your faithful Ludwig
Evening, Monday, July 6
You are suffering, my dearest creature - only now have I learned that letters must be posted very early in the morning on Mondays - Thursdays - the only day on which the mail-coach goes from here to K. - You are suffering - Ah, wherever I am, you are with me - I will arrange it with you and me that I can live with you. What a life!!!! thus!!!! without you - pursued by the goodness of mankind hither and thither - which I as little want to deserve as I deserve it - Humility of man towards man - it pains me - and when I consider myself in relation to the universe, what am I and what is He - whom we call the greatest - and yet - herein lies the divine in man - I weep when I reflect that you will probably not receive the first report from me until Saturday - Much as you love me - I love you more - But do not ever conceal yourself from me - good night - As I am taking the baths I must go to bed - Oh God - so near! so far! Is not our love truly a heavenly structure, and also as firm as the vault of Heaven? -
Good morning, on July 7
Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, not and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us - I can only live wholly with you or not at all - Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the lands of spirits - Yes unhappily it must be so - You will be the more contained since you know my fidelity to you. No one else can ever possess my heart - never - never - Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves. And yet my life in V[ienna] is now a wretched life - Your love makes me at once the happiest and the unhappiest of men - at my age I need a steady, quiet life - can that be so in out connection? My angel, I have just been told that the mailcoach goes everyday - therefore I must close at once so that you may receive the l[etter] at once. - Be calm, only by a calm consideration of our existence can we achieve out purpose to live together - Be calm - love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - you - you - my life - my all - farewell. -Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of you beloved.
ever thine
ever mine L.
ever ours
Written by Ludwig Van Beethoven. His words are great and the feeling echoes my own (at least partially).
My angel, my all, my very self - Only a few words today and at that with pencil (with yours) - Not till tomorrow will my lodgings be definitely determined upon - what a useless waste of time - Why this deep sorrow when necessity speaks - can our love endure except through sacrifices, through not demanding everything from one another; can you change the fact that you are not wholly mine, I not wholly thine - Oh God, look out into the beauties of nature and comfort your heart with that which must be - Love demands everything and that very justly - thus it is to me with you, and you with me. But you forget so easily that I must live for me and for you; if we were wholly united you would feel the pain of it as little as I - My journey was a fearful one: I did not reach here until 4 o'clock yesterday morning. Lacking horses the postcoach chose another route, but what an awful one; at the stage before the last I was warned not to travel at night; I was made fearful of the forest, but that only made me the more eager - and I was wrong. The coach must needs break down on the wretched road, a bottomless mud road. Without such postilions as I had with me I should have remained stuck in the road. Esterhazy, traveling the usual road here, had the same fate with eight horses that I had with four - yet I got some pleasure out of it, as I always do when I successfully overcome difficulties - Now a quick change to things internal from things external. We shall surely see each other soon; moreover, today I cannot share with you the thoughts I have had during these last few days touching my own life - If our hearts were always close together, I would have none of these. My heart is full of so many things to say to you - ah - there are moments when I feel that speech amounts to nothing at all - Cheer up - remain my true, my only treasure, my all as I am yours. The gods must send us the rest, what for us must and shall be-
Your faithful Ludwig
Evening, Monday, July 6
You are suffering, my dearest creature - only now have I learned that letters must be posted very early in the morning on Mondays - Thursdays - the only day on which the mail-coach goes from here to K. - You are suffering - Ah, wherever I am, you are with me - I will arrange it with you and me that I can live with you. What a life!!!! thus!!!! without you - pursued by the goodness of mankind hither and thither - which I as little want to deserve as I deserve it - Humility of man towards man - it pains me - and when I consider myself in relation to the universe, what am I and what is He - whom we call the greatest - and yet - herein lies the divine in man - I weep when I reflect that you will probably not receive the first report from me until Saturday - Much as you love me - I love you more - But do not ever conceal yourself from me - good night - As I am taking the baths I must go to bed - Oh God - so near! so far! Is not our love truly a heavenly structure, and also as firm as the vault of Heaven? -
Good morning, on July 7
Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, not and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us - I can only live wholly with you or not at all - Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the lands of spirits - Yes unhappily it must be so - You will be the more contained since you know my fidelity to you. No one else can ever possess my heart - never - never - Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves. And yet my life in V[ienna] is now a wretched life - Your love makes me at once the happiest and the unhappiest of men - at my age I need a steady, quiet life - can that be so in out connection? My angel, I have just been told that the mailcoach goes everyday - therefore I must close at once so that you may receive the l[etter] at once. - Be calm, only by a calm consideration of our existence can we achieve out purpose to live together - Be calm - love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - you - you - my life - my all - farewell. -Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of you beloved.
ever thine
ever mine L.
ever ours
Written by Ludwig Van Beethoven. His words are great and the feeling echoes my own (at least partially).
Tuesday, April 06, 2010
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
To my unborn siblings,
Watching Remember Me made me think of many things. Tracy, home, and what I am doing with my life. Even more interesting is that I thought of you, who I have not thought of since I was ... whatever age I was when you were conceived. How much different would my life be if you were in it? Would I have left Pennsylvania to go to Florida? Would I have left sooner knowing that my parents had other children? Would I have stayed because we were close? So many questions for which I do not have the answer.
You did not have the opportunity to experience life here on earth. You went from conception to Heaven. Some people would consider that a gift. Others would consider that sad. I am not sure which one I am. You missed many of God's gifts on this earth but you are experiencing every pleasant emotion at once up in Heaven. I suspect you are the lucky ones in the end. God chose you to come be with Him immediately ... chosen.
Why did God create you and then take you is not for me to think about. He had his reasons. You were never even named and that is regrettable. To the unnamed children lost every day - today is the day I weep for you. Maybe not on the outside but in my heart. Actually, I weep for your families as you are in the greatest place there is.
Love,
Chuck
Think about it. Every single day goes by without significance to most people. At the same time, every single day is significant to someone. A lot of people are born each day and to that parent it is the greatest day on this earth so far. A lot of people might start dating today. A lot of people may get married today or tomorrow. First book published. First communion. Any multitude of reasons but, while this day is just another for me - someone out there is celebrating a birthday or an anniversary or ... something else. Take July 6th, or May 28th, or July 18th. Just days to some of you but to people I know - very important days. Even to me ... very important days.
It's interesting to think that we would not value every single day that we are here on earth. I lived through today and get to see tomorrow. Is that not amazing? I won't even remember this day tomorrow yet someone definitely will. I think it is time to rethink life - time to realize that every day is special and it should not be wasted on things like worrying or sadness. Life should not be frittered away but embraced. I'm in love. Here I am 1200 miles away from the person I love. Why? I want a good career and good money. Is that worth it? In the grand scheme of things, would it be better to live in a box with someone you love or live in a mansion alone? I know which answer I would pick in a heartbeat. So why am I here? Why am I not on the first plane to Florida right now? I honestly cannot answer that. I want to leave my computer, leave everything here and go. Yet here I am. I realize this is passion talking maybe. I realize that we need money just like we need love but for different reasons. I could not fly to Florida if I did not have money. I could not provide for a family if I did not have money. I need this job on a résumé to move back to Florida and be with her. I just wish my heart understood like my brain does because it is causing such a conflict that I cannot even describe.
Can time fast forward so I can get back to her, please?
Watching Remember Me made me think of many things. Tracy, home, and what I am doing with my life. Even more interesting is that I thought of you, who I have not thought of since I was ... whatever age I was when you were conceived. How much different would my life be if you were in it? Would I have left Pennsylvania to go to Florida? Would I have left sooner knowing that my parents had other children? Would I have stayed because we were close? So many questions for which I do not have the answer.
You did not have the opportunity to experience life here on earth. You went from conception to Heaven. Some people would consider that a gift. Others would consider that sad. I am not sure which one I am. You missed many of God's gifts on this earth but you are experiencing every pleasant emotion at once up in Heaven. I suspect you are the lucky ones in the end. God chose you to come be with Him immediately ... chosen.
Why did God create you and then take you is not for me to think about. He had his reasons. You were never even named and that is regrettable. To the unnamed children lost every day - today is the day I weep for you. Maybe not on the outside but in my heart. Actually, I weep for your families as you are in the greatest place there is.
Love,
Chuck
Think about it. Every single day goes by without significance to most people. At the same time, every single day is significant to someone. A lot of people are born each day and to that parent it is the greatest day on this earth so far. A lot of people might start dating today. A lot of people may get married today or tomorrow. First book published. First communion. Any multitude of reasons but, while this day is just another for me - someone out there is celebrating a birthday or an anniversary or ... something else. Take July 6th, or May 28th, or July 18th. Just days to some of you but to people I know - very important days. Even to me ... very important days.
It's interesting to think that we would not value every single day that we are here on earth. I lived through today and get to see tomorrow. Is that not amazing? I won't even remember this day tomorrow yet someone definitely will. I think it is time to rethink life - time to realize that every day is special and it should not be wasted on things like worrying or sadness. Life should not be frittered away but embraced. I'm in love. Here I am 1200 miles away from the person I love. Why? I want a good career and good money. Is that worth it? In the grand scheme of things, would it be better to live in a box with someone you love or live in a mansion alone? I know which answer I would pick in a heartbeat. So why am I here? Why am I not on the first plane to Florida right now? I honestly cannot answer that. I want to leave my computer, leave everything here and go. Yet here I am. I realize this is passion talking maybe. I realize that we need money just like we need love but for different reasons. I could not fly to Florida if I did not have money. I could not provide for a family if I did not have money. I need this job on a résumé to move back to Florida and be with her. I just wish my heart understood like my brain does because it is causing such a conflict that I cannot even describe.
Can time fast forward so I can get back to her, please?
Saturday, February 27, 2010
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